


Writing Towards A Happy Ending

by caffeinated_cold_hands, Respect_me_karen



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Original Character(s), Protective Derek, Reid has daddy issues, Rossi is a dad, Sad Spencer Reid, Slow Burn, ill add more tags later im lazy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25480300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinated_cold_hands/pseuds/caffeinated_cold_hands, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Respect_me_karen/pseuds/Respect_me_karen
Summary: Takes place right after 3x03. After Gideon left Dr. Spencer Reid is more hurt than He'd like to admit. Buts he's getting better little by little. And he's hopelessly gay for Derek Morgan.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 15
Kudos: 91





	1. 1

“Good work everybody. Go home, I don’t want to see a single one of you doing paperwork.” Hotch looked at everyone but Spencer could tell he was talking to him. Spencer nodded and headed off for the metro. Slipping in his earbuds and listening to a random playlist on Spotify. It was around 6 pm so he headed to the Chinese place right by his apartment, a familiar chime rang in his ear as he opened the door. 

“Doc! You’re back! We were worried for you, not showing up for your food without even a call,” A tall woman covered with tattoos with bright orange hair teased from the register, Mrs. Zhao, has been working here since he joined the BAU two years ago.

“Case kept me on my toes, what can I say, Mrs. Zhao,” Spencer handed the exact money needed and a 35% tip by memory.

“You are forgiven Doc,” Mrs. Zhao sighed, “But only because you’re my best tipper.” Spencer shook his head and smiled, waving on his way out of the door, walking only a few blocks before getting to his building. 

He bopped his head to the music as he dug for his key in his pocket. He honestly doesn’t need to fumble to figure out which one is his. He has four keys on the loop. One for Hotch which is a dark red, one for his apartment which is dark blue with a small happy face that Garica drew on, one for Garcia which is hot pink with bright blue dots, and one gold key to Gideon’s apartment, which for some reason, he can’t bear to take off the loop. 

Gideon leaving hurt Spencer more than he would like to admit, Emily tried to comfort him by saying that at least he left a note. But Spencer had a troubled past with father figures, to say the least. And leaving a note doesn’t change the fact that Gideon knew Spencer would be worried about him, and yet he still left without a proper goodbye. A note doesn’t change the fact that for two years Spencer looked to Gideon for guidance. And a note didn’t bring back his dad, so why should it bring back Gideon? Hotch said that he knows the man who is coming into the team, but Spencer isn’t too sure about anything anymore.

Spencer set the paper container full of food onto the small dining room table. Slipping off his tan messenger bag and hanging it on a hook next to his door, sticking his hand in to grab his pad of paper out to write his letter to his mom. He could just as easily type the letter but his mom said “Spencer, if you mean what you say, use a pen.” and ever since Spencer hasn’t even thought about not using a pen when he writes his mom. His letter was about two pages, letting his mom know that they caught the bad guy. He told his mom everything, even being stuck in an elevator; if his mother hated flying, Spencer hated old elevators, but he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel even slightly better with Derek being there. 

While Spencer was trying to muster up the strength needed to eat when he saw his phone light up with Garica’s number. Spencer sighed and picked up the call. 

“Garcia? Is everything okay?” Spencer was already reaching for his coat and bag.

“Do you consider turnip prices not good enough for a call Boy Wonder?” Garcia feigned hurt as she moved around her kitchen. Spencer relaxed and reached for his game. Keeping Garcia on the phone on speaker, “Before you come on, don’t you remember the payment?”

“One warm croissant tomorrow,” Spencer sighed when Penelope didn’t answer, “And a frappe.”

“Now you’re talking Reid! You may pass.”

The two played together for the next 3 hours before Garcia went to bed. Spencer sighed knowing that he should also get to bed but not wanting to. Instead, he went to take a shower. Strauss has been stressing the whole team lately, but they all knew that besides Hotch, Strauss had been the most grating on Spencer. Who in the span of months had been through the most in the BAU. And it was in front of all of them, the others had the privilege of their struggles being private. But Reid’s was all in open for anyone to see. 

Except for the letters he writes. He tried to write them for a specific person but eventually, he just gave up. He wrote to him about all the mundane things that happen inside the bullpen. How Emily is always excited to see a magic trick, no matter how simple. How Garcia keeps making better and better software for her computers. How he feels a lot closer to Derek now. How JJ brought him a frappe once to make him feel better. How he feels stressed with Stauss breathing down his neck. How Hotch is keeping a brave face but calling his family less and less each day. How they’re getting a new member where Gideon once stood, and how he’s nervous but trying to be optimistic. How he’s been eating less and less because he doesn’t want to go back to drugs but he doesn’t know how to cope and he’s just not hungry anymore. How he can’t even finish a bag of pretzels anymore. How he doesn’t really know what he feels about Derek Morgan but it's not anything he’s felt before. One upon a time Spencer wanted to mail them to Gideon. But that was then and this is now. He wrote letters to his dad too, he didn’t have an address then so they never went anywhere back then either. And neither will these.

Spencer woke up early the next morning and disposed of the half-eaten Chinese food containers, and took his time getting ready for the day. He didn’t want to be up quite so early that morning, but he needed to be. He had too much food waste in his small apartment at once, and the smell was starting to get to him. He took his trash and dumped it downstairs in the garbage room, then took out his earbuds so he could go for a quick jog before work while it was still a bit dark out. Reid knew his jog wasn’t going to be a long one, but he wanted to make this one last. He didn’t get the chance to just jog around his neighborhood much anymore since the team had had more to think about recently. Spencer had more on his plate to think about than most of the others, but he wasn’t too concerned. He could handle it; for now, at least.

When Spencer returned to his small apartment, he rushed to take a quick shower and brush his hair before work, that way he could make the early bus and have a little quiet time to think in the office before any of the others showed up and enough time to grab Garcia’s payment. He had been so distracted recently when it came to focusing, and at this point, the only solution he could think of was complete silence. He pushed the BAU doors and was surprised to see a light coming from Hotch’s office. Aaron had always been one to show up to the office early, but rarely this early. Reid sighed, knowing it probably meant there was going to be a lot in the briefing this morning and went to leave Penelope’s payment on her desk, then headed straight to his to get to work. 

Reid opened the small file drawer in his desk, and carefully pulled it out to place his most recent letter to Gideon in the special folder he had made a home just for the man he had once considered a father figure. He grabbed his most recent case file so he could study it and make sure everything was in order. His head was running a mile a minute processing everything in the documents, but his heart wasn’t in it. The blue ink of his ballpoint pen scratched across his notepad every few seconds; he knew what he was writing wouldn’t make sense later, but that was an issue he’d deal with when the time came.

“What’s with the chicken scratch, Pretty Boy?”

“Derek! Jeez, you scared me. It’s some notes for the last case. What are you doing here this early?”

“I always come at this time, what are you talking about?”

Reid looked around and saw bustling agents everywhere. He glanced at his watch and saw the time read almost 5 am. He’d been sitting at his desk lost in his mind for almost an hour and a half. Spencer took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and ran his fingers through his hair as Morgan walked away. He closed the last case’s file and placed it back in his cabinet, then looked at his notepad. He already couldn’t understand a word of what he wrote. Reid was sick of it; he had been stuck in this cycle of working without really thinking for days now, and it was starting to really stress him out. He ripped the pages of chicken scratch for the case from the notepad and placed them in a separate file, full of notes that looked just like it.

“Hey guys sorry to break it to you but we have a bad one,” JJ handed out the case files. Morgan sighed when he saw that the location read ‘ _ Tampa’ _ .

“This is gonna be a weird one,” Emily sighed, “Florida is never good.” Emily wasn’t wrong, Florida is never good. But this one was something else, the unsub was taking a shovel and striking women in the mouth causing the top of the head to detach from the jaw up, the unsub then proceeded to shove rose petals down their throats. 

“There was also DNA found at the scene,” JJ turned to face the team, “But it wasn’t in the system,”

“DNA?” Hotch looked up at JJ, hoping she wasn’t saying what he thought.

“One of the victims fought back, blood was found,” JJ realized how gross that must have sounded.

“The unsub probably wasn’t expecting the victim to fight back,” Derek suggested.

“Were the women drugged?” Strauss asked.

“None were found in the systems.” JJ sighed.

“Is it possible that they missed it?” Strauss raised her eyebrow 

“I don’t think so chief Strauss, but I’ll ask them to run it again.” JJ sighed knowing that undermining their ME was not the way to keep relations good with the departments.

“We’ll talk more on the plane, wheels up in 30,” Hotch stepped away to get his go-bag. Reid tried to go to his own desk in the bullpen.

“Ah ah ah, Get back here Pretty Boy,” Morgan called out from his seat at the round table. Reid sighed and turned back around.

“Hmm?”

“That entire briefing and not one fact from you?” Derek took a sip of coffee, “What’s going on with you man?” Spencer wanted nothing more right now than to just go to his desk.

“Nothing! I’m fine! Totally fine,” Derek narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying Reid’s answer, “I have to get my bag,” Reid left the room before Derek realized what was happening.


	2. Playlists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While we're plucking away on the next chapter I decided to give you guys the playlists I listen to while writing each character

*Characters*

[Garica's Grooves](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3vggyKjBwrE067RggkOQ0Q)

[Hotch's Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1v4XWB2aQeKFXUhXsUCeUM)

[JJ Jams](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fnyofwo49uRzWLsXXLU1d)

[Morgan Music](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/48UlZNLcGQIqpIIuXtsenN)

[Prentiss Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7K3anDTSaApVJf8yJL5urj)

[Rossi Rhythms](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0xpvXoIg9Oue8FufGCHcKX)

[Spencer Songs](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5L1m8SX3oTUgolVGDAc9jw)

*Ships*

[JJ and Emily](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66LEjlzjSJjLHTeslg6Erx)

[Derek and Spencer](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6zR1PD4bIcdLMTeUWVM2CY)


	3. Rose Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tampa be crazy

Spencer stood in the jet’s ant-sized lavatory and looked into the small, slightly dirty mirror that hung above the sink. He listened to the jet hum from what seemed like every direction and sighed. He knew he had to get back to his card game with Emily eventually. Spencer splashed a handful of water on his face and headed back to his seat. Emily was still in her seat talking to Derek, who sat in the aisle across from her while Hotch read from a small book, and JJ looked at the file. Spencer had forgotten all about the case in the time it took to get to the jet and take off. He didn’t want to be there; he wanted to be literally anywhere else. Somewhere that would offer peace and quiet. Some time to think about everything from Gideon leaving to if this was really how he wanted to spend his life. He sat down across from Emily, and mindlessly continued the game of cards with her while she continued her conversation with Derek.

“You’ve seriously never heard My Chemical Romance?” Emily looked at Derek questionably.

“I’m telling your Prentiss,” Derek rolled his eyes, “ No matter how many times you question it, I’ve never heard about it until today.”

“Oh come on,” Emily turned to Spencer, “I know you’ve heard of it, Reid.”

“Not until you started working in BAU if I’m being completely honest,” Spencer looked up from his cards, “But I did do some research so I could be more conversational; did you know that the front-man and singer Gerard Way becomes incredibly aroused by both urine and vomit?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Yeah people don’t really mention that fact,” Emily sighed, “But thank you for doing research, that was really sweet of you.”

“I even took the liberty of listening to a few songs,” Spencer continued, “while it’s not always my personal favorite, it has its merits.”

“You listened to MCR,” Emily sounded a little shocked, “And you liked it?”

“Mhm,” Spencer looked back down at his cards.

“We’re making our way down guys.” JJ walked over to the three, “Em, Spence has a full house, I think he's winning this.”

“Damnit,” Emily muttered, placing her hand on the table, nowhere near as good.

******

“Chief Johnson,” A blonde woman introduced herself to the team.

“SSA Hotchner,” Hotch shook her hand before introducing the rest of the team, “SA Morgan, Prentiss, and Dr. Reid.”

“Jennifer Jerreau,” JJ shook Chief Johnson’s hand, “We spoke over the phone.”

“Yes,” Chief Johnson sighed, “I’m glad you got here when you did, the fifth body was found an hour ago.”

“Morgan and Reid I want you to go to the scene,” Hotch handed Derek the directions, “Prentiss and JJ go interview the victims’ families,” the team headed out to their respective vehicles.

Derek and Reid sat in thick silence, until Derel broke it, “Why would he shove the petals down the  _ throat  _ after the murder?”

“Well there are many different reasons symbolism wise,” Spencer started “In Eastern Asian culture there's a mythical disease where if someone falls in love and it isn’t returned their lungs fill up with rose petals, killing them.”

“So the unsub may be in love with his victims?”

“Not necessary,” Spencer reasoned, “All the victims have a different color of roses,” Spencer flips through the pictures, “The first one has lavender roses, which typically is associated with ‘love at first sight’ or enchantment,” Spencer flipped to the second one, “next victim had black roses, which symbolize a new beginning, most likely their new passion for killing.”

“Okay I’m following so far, what about the other 3?” Derek turned around the corner. 

“Victim 3 had blue, which means unattainable,” Spencer flipped to the last picture, “and victim 4 had orange, desire.” 

“So you think the unsub picks the victims based on the colors of flowers?” Derek pulled up to the new crime scene of the side of the road.

“Not necessarily, he’s not going in any clear order,” Spencer hopped out of the car, “I think most likely he finds his victim, then picks the color closest to them.”

“Let's see if you're right Pretty Boy.”

The two walked over to the body, Spencer slipping on latex gloves. The scene was gory, the top of the head was nestled in a tree while the body was sitting up against it. The petals were covered in blood so Spencer would have to wipe them off. 

“Do we know who she was?” Derek asks the officer at the scene.

“Mary Thompson, daughter of a local preacher,” the officer answered. Spencer walked over and gently picked up a petal from the top. Once he wiped Mary's blood he could see that it was very clearly a peach color. 

“Is there a reason why Mary would be seen as modest?” Spencer walked over to the officer.

“Yeah, she was going to become a nun after high school.”

“High School?” Derek questioned 

“Yeah, she was in her senior year.”

“The victimology changed.” Derek said looking around at the scene, “where is the unsub getting all the flowers?”

“Reasonably they could get most of them at any grocery store,” the officer chimed in.

“Great,” Spencer muttered to himself, not aware that Derek could hear him.

“At least we have enough for a geographic profile.” Derek shrugged.

******

“How's that map going Reid?” Hotch walked into the room that Spencer was working in. Spencer stared at the board, not hearing Hotch come in, “Reid.”

“Oh Uh, the unsub seems to be operating in a 35-mile radius,” Spencer took a step back to fully look at the map, “but the thing is, all of the victims are all close to one grocery store except for the first victim.”

“What are you saying?”

“What if he's a grocery store worker?” Spencer turned around to face Hotch, “He fell in love with the first victim, asked her out, got rejected, and then killed her. After that, he transferred to a new location, and continued to kill.”

“I think we’re ready to deliver to the profile,” Hotch stopped at the door, “Spencer, have you had anything to eat today?”

Spencer just nodded while picking up the case files. His stomach saying the truth.


End file.
